couch potato

Since some people around here don't seem to think that pasting a screen shot of the Cypress Mountain website is a sufficient blog posting¹and some people seem to think I'm not slothful enough⁰, and *despite* the fact that I'm totally exhausted and should be sleeping right now, I give you this blog posting (a) to ensure that no one tries to claim I missed a day of posting and (b) it was already three quarters written.

In the last month, I have watched approximately 4.5 seasons of various television shows. The breakdown goes something like this:

• Lost - Season 1


• Lost - Season 2


• Lost - Season 3


• Veronica Mars - most of Season 1


• Heroes² - about half of Season 1

In my ongoing efforts to be the last person on earth to report on things⁷, I really liked Lost. Various people have told me that they like one season, but didn't like another one, but I've really liked all of it so far⁸ I especially enjoyed having the luxury of chainsmoking the episodes, as that show is (a) so damn interconnected and (b) full of cliffhangers, it helps me keep plotlines and characters straight and I like finding out right away what happens after any given cliffhanger.

VM Season 1 is a damn good mystery (well, a bunch of damn good mysteries really) and I can't wait to get to the end of the season to see whodunit. But I won't get to do that 'til next week 'cuz this week has been crazy busy what with all the time I'm spending panicking about my first lecture on Friday.

Heroes is quite enjoyable, but I have stay here and now for all the Internets to read, I cannot - I repeat, CANNOT - stand the part at the beginning and end when Mohinder does his voiceovers. You can tell that they think it sounds cool, but if listen to what he's actually saying, it never makes any sense. Gah!! On the bright side, the show is entertaining, there's lots of mystery (and who doesn't like mystery?) and, as of yet, there are no spiders in it.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go to sleep. Like right freaking now!

⁰my blog readers are starting to get so demanding, aren't they?
¹ which it *so* is, by the way
²In HD³. And Surround Sound. God damn, I like HD with Surround Sound.
³Speaking of HD, if there is anything better in life that Canucks games in HD, I haven't experienced it⁴.
⁴Well, other than the obvious. But HD hockey is pretty spectacular too!^5
5My sister and her boyfriend were ordering a big TV when I was in Toronto with their Christmas gift money and I said to my sis, "Whatever you do, don't let "Grampa"⁶ watch hockey in high def on your TV, or he'll be moving into your house before you know it." My niece, hearing this, exclaimed with a great deal of concern in her voice, "But Grampa likes hockey!"
⁶We refer to my dad as "Grampa" now, because Madeline is, of course, the ultimate frame of reference.
⁷Everyone wants to bring you the breaking news, but it takes a real superstar, such as myself, to report on things years after they ceased to be news.
⁸With the notable exception of 2 scenes in the Nicki & Paulo episode that contained friggin' spiders.

Reporting from the Nation's Capital

I'm now on the second leg of my Christmas tour - at Sarah & Dave's place in Ottawa. Tired and should go to bed soon, but first I thought I'd show y'all a few Christmas photos.

Like this one, a picture of my niece with the stuffed Quatchi¹ that I gave her:

And here, she's tucking Quatchi into the new bed she got for Xmas:

And this is my sister's boyfriend, my niece and I, looking out the window of her new playhouse. The house is about 3 feet tall², and was packed with all the toys she got for Christmas, which she carefully placed into this house before insisting we join her in said house. Translation: it was rather crowded.

OK, Beth sleep now. Beth will blog more coherently tomorrow.

Update: For the record, I'm in Ontario, but my blog timestamps using Pacific Time. So I'm really not going to bed at 9:40 p.m.

¹Aunt Beth, spreading the love of Quatchi eastward!
²Disclaimer: I am completely useless at estimating heights.

Peanuts

So, it appears that my blog will now be an aunty blog¹, at least until I head to Ottawa on the 26th. I can't help it though - my niece is just so damn cute! I'll try to throw in the occasional cougar reference, lustful thoughts about the Canucks or snarky comment about David Emerson that "Not to Be Trusted with Knives" readers have come to expect², so as not to lose my readership completely as I oooh and ahhh over my niece's brilliance.

Today, we baked cookies. In our pyjamas³. These are to be the "best cookies that I ate in the whole world." I think the secret is that my niece was rolling the dough "back and forest." Right now the cookies are cooling and my niece is napping, hence the opportunity to do the blogging, although I should be cleaning up the kitchen, which is a right disaster. There was also a pre-baking song and dance - the song went something like "I can do it all by myself! But sometimes it's OK to ask your parents for help if you need help because sometimes you are too tiny and you can't do it but it's OK because you can ask for help to get some milk and you can feed your pets if you have pets at home I have two cats at my home and they are named Pakita and Monkey and I can feed them but sometimes it's OK to ask for help from your parents." And the song must be sung while shaking maracas, must be sung completely out of tune and must continue on until Aunt Beth nearly collapses from exhaustion with all the dancing around the kitchen. I have no idea where the hell kids get that kind of energy!

But the really funny thing she said³, I wasn't actually there to hear. She went up to my sister last night and said, "Girls have vaginas. Boys have peanuts."

¹Not unlike "mommy" bloggers, just with less responsibility.
²I'm on vacation so, much to the disappointment of my email subscribing friend, I won't be talking about thigh highs.
³My pyjamas are hospital scrubs. They are very comfy.
⁴Are you totally sick of this yet? Is anyone still reading?