Sunday, July 01, 2007


You know I can't resist a list. This is my 400th post. And here are 400 things about me. I was going to make them totally random, but as the list progressed1, I ended up grouping things and having several lists of "the 10 (or 15 or 25) most recent...", which I freely admit are kind of filler, because 400 is a big number, dammit! But it still gives you some insight into me and publishing the most mundane things about oneself is what the internets was designed for, isn't it?

It's a very long post, so I suggest you sit down with a nice cold diet Pepsi (or possibly an orange mocha frappichino) and settle in for a wild ride in the psyche of Dr. B. To make it easier on you, I've hyperlinked on all the footnotes (and, when you are done reading a given footnote, just click on it and it will bring you back to where you were in the list.). You're welcome.

OK, without further ado (I'm *so* sick of ado already!), here are 400 things. If you actually read them all, you are almost as crazy as I am.

My Childhood

  1. When I was little, we had two dogs. Their names were Brandy and Gin. Which is funny, because my parents are both teetotallers. They were both of the same breed, Dandie Dinmont Terriors. I thought they were called "Brandy Didn't Want Ontario." Apparently I really was always meant to live in BC.

  2. For a brief period, I truly believed that my name was spelled Beht.

  3. My first bed was a brass bed. I wanted one because one of my aunts had one and I thought it was sooo cool.

  4. When I was 3 years old, I could count to 101. I believed that 101 was the highest possible number - it did not occur to me that something could come after 101.

  5. Also at 3 years of age, I memorized my favourite book, "Donkey Daniel in Bethlehem," because I made my mom read it to me so many times. I would flip the pages and recite the words and I honestly believed that I was reading. Until I tried to read another book - I opened it up and was very upset when I didn't know the words. I remember thinking "Oh no! I've forgotten how to read!"

  6. I attended kindergarten three times. OK, that's not as bad as it sounds. My sister was 2 grades above me and my mom volunteered to help out in my sister's kindergarten class, so she just brought me along and I took part in all the kindergarten class activities. The next year, my mom volunteered to help out in the special needs class, so the kindergarten teacher said that I could just go and play in the kindergarten class while my mom was volunteering. The next year was my actual year in kindergarten.

  7. Because I attended kindergarten three times, I read my school's entire book collection for kindergarten, grade 1 and grade 2 by the end of own my kindergarten year. I remember reading a grade 2 book with a purple monster on the cover at the end of kindergarten, although I have no idea what the book was called.

  8. The nickname my family gave me very early on in childhood was "Messy Bessy." Anyone who knows me will understand how this came to be.

  9. When she wanted us to behave, my mom would tell us that we better be good or "I'll rip your face off." My mom had long nails and I was pretty sure that she could actually do this.

  10. ChiPs was my favourite show when I was a kid. I *loved* Erik Estrada. Loved!

  11. My mother told me and my sister that if we drank directly from the water tap, a snake would come out of the tap and go right down our throats. We believed her.

  12. I was sure that I would grow up to be the first women to play major league baseball.
  13. Academic Stuff

  14. In my undergrad, I majored in Biochemistry

  15. While majoring in Biochemistry, I minored in Drama

  16. I can legitimately put all of the following letters after my name: B.Sc(Hons), M.Sc., Ph.D.

  17. I have current or past memberships in 11 academic organizations

  18. In the 6 years of my PhD, I only had to take 18 credits (3 credits = a one semester class)

  19. I had straight As in my graduate work (Masters and PhD)

  20. I did not have straight As in my undergrad. In fact, I had a few really dismal marks2
  21. I have only been to 9 university campuses

  22. I attended 3 campuses of those as a student

  23. I have taught students from kindergarten all the way through to university professors

  24. I have won three teaching awards

  25. I have won 17 academic awards

  26. I accumulated over $70,000 of student debt

  27. I was a postsecondary student for 11 years

  28. I am trained in Radionucleotide Safety and Methodology

  29. I was required to take Chemical Safety Training at all three universities I attended, as no university seems to recognize each others's training, despite the fact that WHMIS (the core of what was taught in each training session) is a national program.

  30. I have judged in two national science fairs

  31. I was mistaken for a student at one of those science fairs (the students are in high school and I was 28 years old at the time)
  32. My Family

  33. I have one sister

  34. I have one niece

  35. I have two living grandparents

  36. I have 6 biological uncles

  37. I have 6 biological aunts

  38. I have 14 first cousins

  39. 3 of those first cousins are named Robert

  40. I have 9 first cousins once removed

  41. The youngest of those first cousins once removed is only 5 days old!

  42. I will have 1 first cousin twice removed in August

  43. When my first cousin twice removed is born in August, we will have 5 living generations on my dad's side of the family (great-great-grandparents, great-grandparents, grandparents, parents, kid)

  44. My parents still live in the same house they were in when I was born

  45. Anthropometrics

  46. I'm 5 ft tall

  47. I'm 5 ft 4 when I wear my boots, my ebay shoes or my new red platforms!

  48. I have blue eyes

  49. I am constantly asked if I am wearing coloured contacts. For the record, I am not.

  50. I naturally have brown hair, but right now it is a reddish-blondish colour

  51. I'm not telling you my weight, but it is within the healthy BMI range

  52. I wear size 6 shoes

  53. I wear junior boys hockey equipment

  54. I'm still wearing glasses that I bought 7 years ago, despite the fact that my prescription has changed several times and my glasses have been stepped on and thus are crooked on my face.

  55. My proper prescription is -7.5 in one eye and -9.0 in the other

  56. My Addiction to the Internet

  57. I have 8 email addresses

  58. I write on 3 blogs

  59. I have 4 computers in my house

  60. 3 of those computers actually work

  61. 2 of those 3 computers I typically have running 24/7.

  62. I created a wiki for my family's Christmas wish list

  63. My current Technorati rank is 237,134

  64. I have 167 Facebook friends (almost all of whom I actually know in real life!)

  65. I have 1407 pictures posted on Flickr

  66. I am currently using 40% of my 2871 MB of storage in Gmail

  67. Food

  68. I'm a lacto-ovo vegetarian

  69. I take my coffee black with sweetener

  70. I take my tea with sweetener and soymilk

  71. My favourite food is, and always has been, French fries

  72. I also enjoy French fries's fancy cousin, poutine

  73. I love dark chocolate; milk chocolate, not so much

  74. I prefer diet Pepsi to diet Coke

  75. I know how aspartame is metabolized in the body, and no, it won't give you MS, brain tumours or minor heart explosions.

  76. If I had to pick a favourite vegetable (not counting French fries), I think I'd say asparagus

  77. If I had to pick a favourite fruit, pineapple (or possibly mango)

  78. I dislike pie crust; I prefer to eat the filling from the pie and leave the crust.

  79. I believe that cake is merely a vehicle for icing
  80. Physical Activity

  81. Hockey is hands down my favourite sport to play

  82. I was once the highest scorer on my hockey team, despite having the worst shot in the history of the sport. My secret: get in good position in front of the net and wait for one of the good players to pass me the puck.

  83. I played softball as a kid from about ages 7-13 (or maybe 14... can't quite remember). Since then, I haven't played until this year

  84. The first time I ever surfed was on my 30th birthday trip to Tofino

  85. Since grade school, I have run in three races: a 5K, a 10K and a half marathon.

  86. As a kid, I took 3 karate lessons. There was a special promo where you could get 3 lessons for $10. I quite enjoyed it, but my parents did not enroll me in any lessons after that.

  87. I have learned the following types of dance at some point in my life (and to varying degrees of success): salsa, merengue, square, pole and two-step.

  88. I took swimming lessons up to pre-bronze.3 I was too young to move on to bronze at that point, and I never ended up going back to it once I was old enough.

  89. I spent a few years on my hometown's swim team as a kid; my favourite race was the butterfly, because so few people entered that race that sometimes you could win a medal simply for being one of the three kids in that competition.

  90. I firmly believed that being an alternate on the track & field team in elementary school was the best position on the team. No one ever got hurt on race day, which meant that I got the day off of school, got to sit in the sun eating freezies, and never had to exert any effort by actually running in a race.

  91. I've done the Grouse Grind a grand total of three times

  92. My hiking goals for this summer is to do the Grind at least 2 more times, Mount Seymour to first peak, the Chief, and Black Tusk.

  93. Things I Like (in no particular order)

  94. lists

  95. footnotes

  96. juxtaposition

  97. my niece

  98. cheesecake

  99. cats that act like dogs

  100. dogs that act like dogs

  101. Vancouver

  102. Jager Bombs

  103. platform heels

  104. risotto

  105. Stephen Colbert

  106. my Treo

  107. sunshine

  108. Taylor Pyatt

  109. my job

  110. my other job

  111. my third job

  112. Indian food

  113. my mitochondria

  114. Things I Don't Like

  115. Calgary
  116. spiders
  117. Nicholas Cage4
  118. meat
  119. the word "incentivize"
  120. David Emerson

  121. selfishness

  122. the fact that I can only renew books from the Vancouver Public Library two times, even if no one else has requested the book

  123. American cars

  124. American beer

  125. pain

  126. jerks

  127. Things on My Desk At Work Right Now

  128. photo of my niece

  129. photo of me with a bunch of friends

  130. another photo of me with a bunch of friends

  131. a computer

  132. hand cream

  133. file folder rack thingy

  134. travel mug

  135. water bottle

  136. pen holder (with pens!)

  137. box of business cards

  138. pile of other people's business cards

  139. stapler

  140. staple remover

  141. stamp that says "COPY"

  142. yellow highlighter

  143. pen

  144. another pen

  145. pencil

  146. binder with notes from meetings

  147. contact lists which I was too lazy to put back up on my corkboard

  148. unopened packet of soy sauce

  149. mess5

  150. Provinces To Which I've Been

  151. British Columbia

  152. Alberta

  153. Saskatchewan

  154. Manitoba

  155. Ontario

  156. Quebec

  157. Prince Edward Island

  158. Fifteen of My Favourite Quotations

  159. "If religions was based on scientific evidence it would be called "science"... and no one would believe it." -Stephen Colbert

  160. "I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." -Douglas Adams

  161. "Death is the only thing that ever terrifies me... one can survive everything nowadays except that." -Lord Henry Wotton in The Picture of Dorian Gray

  162. "It is better to be a human being dissatisfied than a pig satisfied; better to be Socrates dissatisfied than a fool satisfied."-John Stuart Mill

  163. "In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move." -Douglas Adams

  164. "Creationists make it sound as though a 'theory' is something you dreamt up after being drunk all night."-Isaac Asimov

  165. "Women need not always keep their mouths shut and their wombs open."-Emma Goldman

  166. "A physicist is just an atom's way of looking at itself."-Niels Bohr

  167. "As an adolescent I aspired to lasting fame, I craved factual certainty, and I thirsted for a meaningful vision of human life - so I became a scientist. This is like becoming an archbishop so you can meet girls". -M. Cartmill

  168. "The advantage of a classical education is that it enables you to despise the wealth that it prevents you from achieving." -Russell Green

  169. "The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it." -George Bernard Shaw

  170. "Sleep is wasted on the sleeping." -Nick Parlante

  171. "Physics is not a religion. If it were, we'd have a much easier time raising money." -Leon Lederman

  172. "I feel bad for the man that can't spell a word more than one way." -Mark Twain

  173. "I don't want to achieve immortality through my work... I want to achieve it through not dying."-Woody Allen

  174. Places I've Published

  175. Bone

  176. Alcohol

  177. Alcoholism: Clinical & Experimental Research

  178. Cochrane Database of Systematic Reviews

  179. Bioteach

  180. the internets

  181. Every Pair of Footwear That I Own

  182. black shiny heels

  183. black matte heels

  184. black shiny wedge heels with a strap around the ankle

  185. my CFM boots

  186. ebay shoes

  187. red platform heels

  188. brown, two thick straps, chunky heels that I bought in Seattle

  189. Asics running shoes

  190. Circa skater shoes

  191. winter boots

  192. hockey skates

  193. rollerblades

  194. strappy black wedge heels that I bought for my graduation

  195. black Stoneridge sandals

  196. brown strappy sandals with cork wedge heel

  197. black flip flops

  198. red flip flops

  199. light blue Crocs

  200. silver ballerina flats

  201. black slip ons

  202. black ankle high boots that are so worn I should really throw them away

  203. silver shoes with the clear plastic heels that have lights inside that light up when you walk that Danielle would not leave the house with me if I was wearing them

  204. Icons on My Laptop's Desktop

  205. Recycle Bin

  206. QuickTime Player

  207. Internet Explorer

  208. Adobe Reader 8

  209. AVG Free (anti-virus software)

  210. InterVideo Win DVD

  211. Firefox

  212. Recovery Disc Creator

  213. TOSHIBA Assist (I don't even know what this does)

  214. Window Live Messenger

  215. Window Media Play

  216. Microsoft Outlook (which I *never* use at home)

  217. Palm Desktop

  218. Palm Quick Install

  219. Documents To Go (also for Palm)

  220. Eat Right Analysis (a diet analysis program)

  221. Telus eCare (again, something I never use)

  222. Flickr Uploadr

  223. iTunes

  224. blog.txt (a draft of this blog posting, which I was working on in Notepad, saved to desktop)

  225. Skype
  226. The Last 10 Books I've Read (or Am In The Process of Reading)

  227. The Math Gene: How Mathematical Thinking Evolved and Why Numbers Are Like Gossip by Keith J. Devlin.

  228. The Heathen's Guide to World Religions by William Hopper

  229. Race Against Time by Stephen Lewis

  230. Sophie's World by Jostein Gaarder

  231. The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde

  232. The Minority Report by Philip K. Dick

  233. The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster by Bobby Henderson

  234. The Selfish Gene by Richard Dawkins

  235. What to Eat by Marion Nestle

  236. Infinite Jest by David Foster Wallace

  237. The Last 5 Movies I Have Watched

  238. Zoolander
  239. Spider-Man 3

  240. Day Watch

  241. Die Hard with a Vengeance

  242. Live Free or Die Hard

  243. Last 25 Google Searches That Lead People to My Blog

  244. gay bar pony seattle

  245. longest gun name

  246. telus bundle phone cell internet

  247. funniest spam

  248. funny names for IT geeks

  249. what does not destroy me

  250. crazy latest names

  251. Canada eagle cam

  252. dunk tank siren

  253. Danielle needs

  254. mon blog sexy

  255. Vancouver women's ice hockey

  256. 23 reasons why I am awesome [um, did they really think they'd find this on the web??]

  257. sex playlist

  258. stripper named Courtney

  259. Canucks trade Jason King

  260. sexy Beth

  261. OSAP pays students every month [you wish!]

  262. wear the fox hat

  263. table of contents shows pages in Roman numerals

  264. you have to excuse me I'm not at my best

  265. clinic sex free

  266. cut off salan calgary

  267. Beth Kaede

  268. icicle aphrodisiac6

  269. The Last 25 Cities from Which My Blog Readers Have Come

  270. Mountain View, California

  271. Burnaby, BC

  272. Toronto, Ontario

  273. Farmingon, Connecticut

  274. New York, New York

  275. Livonia, Michigan

  276. Seoul, Kyonggi-do,Korea

  277. Linköping, Ostergotland, Sweden

  278. Bangalore, Karnataka, India

  279. Dearborn, Michigan

  280. Berlin, Germany

  281. Seattle, Washington

  282. Delta, BC

  283. Calgary, Alberta

  284. Tyler, Texas

  285. Asheboro, North Carolina

  286. Greenville, South Carolina

  287. Atlanta, Georgia

  288. Ottawa, Ontario

  289. Vancouver, BC

  290. Herndon, Virgina

  291. Naples, Floria

  292. Allen, Texas

  293. Thousand Oaks, California

  294. Torino, Piemonte, Italy

  295. The Last Ten People Who Have Written on My Facebook Wall

  296. Kalev

  297. Kelly

  298. Ian

  299. Lianna

  300. Danielle

  301. Dan

  302. me

  303. Kim

  304. Clayton

  305. Tenny

  306. The Last 25 Songs I Listened to on my iPod

  307. Fuck Her Gently by Tenacious D

  308. From Blown Speakers by the New Pornographers

  309. Material Girl by Madonna

  310. In the Ghetto by Elvis Presley

  311. Mr. Jones by the Counting Crows

  312. Lips of an Angel by Hinder

  313. Tainted Love by the Cure

  314. Build Me Up Buttercup by NOFX

  315. Ball and Chain by Social Distortion

  316. Holy Virgin by Groove Coverage

  317. Get Together by Madonna

  318. Animals by Nickelback

  319. Lucky Love by Ace of Base

  320. You Oughta Know by Alanis Morisette

  321. Sex Changes by the Dresden Dolls

  322. Poison by Groove Coverage

  323. Better Together by Jack Johnson

  324. Little Bones by the Tragically Hip

  325. Church of Hot Addiction by Cobra Starship

  326. The Other Man by Sloan

  327. The Anti-Racist Sing-a-Long by Closet Monster

  328. Kiss Kiss by Groove Coverage

  329. Promiscuous Girl by Nelly Furtado

  330. In A Sweet Dream by Strata
  331. The Last 25 People Who Emailed Me

  332. Lori

  333. Dave

  334. Meenu

  335. Nancy

  336. Erika

  337. Christel

  338. Alison

  339. The Georgia Straight

  340. Jen

  341. Lovey

  342. Phillip

  343. Lori

  344. The Vancouver Public Library

  345. Kalev

  346. Carrie

  347. Ziba

  348. Jody

  349. Theresa

  350. Jason

  351. John

  352. Lincoln

  353. JB

  354. Pay Pal

  355. Tanis

  356. Balie

  357. Shalu

  358. Mike

  359. Agatha
  360. The Last 10 Pieces of Snail Mail That I've Received

  361. bank statement

  362. mail for my former roommate

  363. mail for my former roommate's ex

  364. bank statement from the other bank

  365. free sample of shampoo

  366. Visa bill

  367. dentist visit reimbursement cheque from my health plan

  368. optometrist visit reimbursement cheque from my health plan

  369. junk mail about my Visa

  370. AmEx bill

  371. pension plan papers

  372. The Last 9 Pieces of Snail Mail That I've Sent

  373. signed contract for my new job teaching science to kids, sent to the employer

  374. grad photo sent to my uncle and aunt7

  375. postcard with a photo of me & Kelly running on it, sent to Kelly

  376. postcard with a photo of me & Kelly running on it, sent to my sister & neice

  377. postcard with a photo of me & Kelly running on it, sent to my mom & dad

  378. postcard with a photo of me & Kelly running on it, sent to Danielle

  379. birthday present sent to my sister

  380. newspaper article sent to Danielle

  381. The Last 15 Things I Ate8

  382. authentic Dutch apple pie, made by my Dutch friend Christel

  383. Cobb's Country Harvest Bread with cream cheese on it

  384. spinach/chickepea/tofu/zucchini/carrots/green pepper curry with brown rice

  385. refried beans, tomatoes, mushrooms and green onions in a whole wheat wrap

  386. egg McMaster and a cup of coffee

  387. veggie maki rolls, tempura, and teriaki tofu

  388. Cobb's Country Harvest Bread, toasted with cream cheese and tea

  389. an apple

  390. a banana

  391. veggie pakora, naan, pulao rice, Bombay Aloo and a mixed veggie dish that name of which I can't recall and which doesn't seem to be in their online version of their menu
  392. ice cream bar and a diet Pepsi
  393. toast with peanut butter & honey and tea

  394. veggie burrito

  395. salt & vinegar chips, chocolate & a diet pepsi (which I smuggled into the movie theatre)

  396. egg McMaster and a cup of tea

  397. The Last 25 Websites I Accessed

  398. IMDB

  399. wikipedia


  401. Image West hair

  402. flickr

  403. telusmobility

  404. Global News

  405. my work's website

  406. Translink




  410. CTV News website

  411. Google Reader

  412. Work Email

  413. Hotmail

  414. Young & the Restless spolier site

  415. Environment Canada's weather forecast

  416. Google Analytics

  417. The Colbert Report on the Comedy Central website

  418. Facebook

  419. Stats Counter

  420. My Blog

  421. Blogger

  422. Gmail

  423. Random Stuff

  424. There are 17 letters in my name.

  425. My porn name is Brandy Mountainview

  426. I am never, ever, ever doing something like this again. Why, oh why, do I get such stupid ideas into my head. I thought this would be easier than finding 200 sites to link to. I stand corrected.

1ya, I've been working on this for a little while now, when I noticed that I was approaching my 400th blog posting. Yes, I do have a life, why do you ask?)

2I hate your analytical chemistry and first year physics!!

3 I don't know if they still use the colour categories like they did when I was a kid. Bronze was the first step of the lifeguarding qualifications, after you went through all the basic levels of swimming lessons - blue, orange, green, red, maroon, plaid, or whatever.

4I have an irrational hatred of Nicholas Cage. I don't know why I don't like him. I just don't

5So messy, in fact, that I nearly had to resort to calling my cell phone from my office phone to find it on my desk the other day

6ones that didn't make my most recent 25, but which I couldn't resist telling you about:
  • get paid watch porn films
  • middle aged women porn
  • naked Aggies
  • list of things and people that have pissed me off
  • pre porn
  • hands spontaneously started bleeding
  • danielle rocks
  • how to make danielle happy
  • danielle needs needs [is it just me, or does someone have a Danielle obsession??]
  • sperm all over moms boots
  • [and my favourite] injured doing keg stand

7 I had sent grad photos to all my aunts andes, but this particular one was "returned to sender" because I'd forgotten to add the apartment # with the address. And apparently the post office couldn't figure out that they should just deliver it to the house where all the other mail at that address with the same name was going. So I had to re-send it. Way to go, Canada Post!

8Wow, compiling that list made me realize how crappy I've been eating lately. Yikes! They are going to want to take back my doctorate in Nutrition if I keep this up!


Rebecca said...

Wow! Congrats on assembling that list! And major congrats on post #400 :)

Stacia said...

This list is quite impressive. Especially the academic part! I hope it doesn't take forever to pay off those student loans.

Jason said...

uh-oh, beth; the addiction is worsening...

Darren said...

Not to be crass, but this post is an evil marketer's wet dream.

I recently passed my 4000th post. I think I'll just hold on this badboy until the big 5-0-0-0.

Beth said...

Darren - you make a good point. But "evil" and "marketers"... isn't that a little redundant?

Jason - I don't think there is a cure for this addicition!

Stacia - thanks! I hope it doesn't too!

Rebecca - thanks and thanks!

Darren said...

Hey, I'm a marketer! Sometimes. And I almost always use my powers for the forces of good.

Beth said...

I know you are a marketer! I was just kidding!

Darren said...

I was foiled by the lack of smiley.

And now I'm making fun, beause emoticons must die.

I was also lying about using my powers only for good. Do you know any teenagers with addictive personalities?

Darren said...

'beuase'? Bad spelling must also die, but I fear it's hardier prey.

Kelly said...

I read oh-so much, but not all. loved the quotes - berry funny!

Hey lady - you're impressive!

Blogger said...

I've just downloaded iStripper, and now I enjoy having the sexiest virtual strippers on my taskbar.