So, after several phone calls with accompanying freakouts, I finally got the cell phone deal that I was promised. Rather ridiculous that one needs to do that, but hey, I finally got what I wanted by having temper tantrums. That's a good life lesson, isn't it?
Notably, no one has yet phoned me on my new phone and said the magic words. Guess no one wants to win those valuable, valuble BTNaNN points!