Sunday, November 19, 2006

Snippets

For some reason, I heard a number of interesting lines that really stuck in my head this past weekend. I would have got this up earlier, but I was actually doing work yesterday. Work! Here are some snippets of conversation, and their context:



Yelled from a block away: "Stop dancing on that pole... Sophie!!"

Picture it. You are walking down Commercial Drive after having watched a play (Life After God) at the Vancouver East Cultural Centre, discussing how Douglas Coupland is a self-referential asshole. You see, about a block away, a women with two male companions stumble up the street and start pole dancing on a street sign. You turn to your companion and say, "Is that woman pole dancing?" And your companion yells, "Get off that pole!! Stop dancing on that pole... Sophie!" Yes, my friends know some interesting characters*!



"It's OK to bathe or shower in the water, as long as you don't swallow any of it."

This statement was actually made by a news anchor, during a story about the Vancouver water advisory**. I freaking love that they have to people not to drink their bath water!!



"Those cheerleaders are wearing parkas!" "I have a good idea - let's have an outdoor event in Winnipeg... in November!"

Grey Cup***. In Winnipeg. In November. What genius thought of that one?



"I'm going to go ingest some shigella."

A statement like this could come from an agricultural sciences student who decides he needs some hydration before our ball hockey game and so heads for the water fountain, despite the fact that the city is under a boil water advisory. To date, I believe the friend of mine who made this declaration is shigella-free.



"JESUS, THERE'S A SPIDER CRAWLING ON THE BED!!!!!"

This was screamed by me so that my roommate would come and rescue me (which she did). Sometimes I hate living in a basement.



"I'm just wondering how long sex lasts... you have A LOT of songs in this Sex playlist!"

OK, this one requires a bit of backstory. I'm at a birthday party on Saturday night and the birthday boy's iPod runs out of power. Another person at the party starts making a playlist on their iPod and I offer my iPod in the meantime, with the caveat of "Don't make fun of my music. I have eclectic musical tastes!" As the one who has appointed themself in charge of the music at the time starts flipping through my music, he discovers that I have three playlists entitled "Sex", "Drugs" and "Rock & Roll."**** He starts playing the "Drugs" music, but a little later on he makes the aforementioned statement of "I'm just wondering how long sex lasts... you have A LOT of songs in this Sex playlist!" The point of the playlist was supposed to be that it was songs *about* sex, not necessarily songs that you have sex to. But now that he mentioned it...





*And, for the record, the two male companions were a gay couple that Sophie was *teaching* to pole dance!

**Day 6 and counting! I <3 href="http://www.bclions.com/">BC Lions!

***Props to the Grey Cup Champion BC Lions! w00t! w00t!

****"Sex" includes songs that have something to do with sex (think "Crazy Bitch" by Buck Cherry or NIN's "Closer."); "Drugs" includes songs about, well, drugs (think "Heroin" by the Velvet Underground, "Cocaine Blues" by Johnny Cash, or "My Alcoholic Friends" by the Dresden Dolls) and "Rock & Roll" includes songs about music (think "Jailhouse Rock" by Elvis)... I thought it was witty.

3 comments:

Courtney-O said...

Since you've shared yours, I'll share mine. (Just as an aside - I'm not sure how funny this will be to anyone who doesn't work in the transportation industry, but . . .)

We require lumper (unloading) receipts when paying invoice charges, and we got a hand-written invoice this week that said, "I lumped myself. $180.00 due."

I laughed myself silly over that one.

J Wo said...

Go to this site for some good snippets:

www.overheardinnewyork.com

Blogger said...

I've just installed iStripper, so I can watch the sexiest virtual strippers strip-teasing on my taskbar.